pinch me

i recently realized that i never really elaborated on this post.  time just slipped away and i began to assume that you knew what was going on in my life.  i have also come to realize that it is challenging to post about this, because part of me is still in disbelief. disbelief that dreams that i didn't even know that i had are actually coming true.  i don't struggle with the belief that God is good or that He wants to bless me.  God has proven His goodness to me in small ways daily and in big ways through huge life decisions, like going to college, finding roommates, getting to work at camp, and meeting my love.  in my heart i always knew that i wanted all of those things.  i guess this new passion of mine is different because i never believed that i really could attain it.  i never thought that God could bring me to this place of being blessed to love a job so much and to be proud of working so hard to create something from the ground up. to follow my dreams, to try something new, to put myself out there, and not to give up.  i can remember watching the movie 13 going on 30 in high school and wishing i could just be a yearbook editor for the rest of my life.  i can remember visiting my Walgreens ladies weekly to develop my film and getting so excited about being an editor and creating my own layouts.  never in my wildest dreams did i think that i would one day become a photographer and get to create my own little website.  never.  it just proves that God is God and He knows more about my heart than i even do.  He knows the desires of my heart, even when i am too scared to really believe in them.  and to take it even a step further, not only am i blessed to be a photographer, but my work has even been published. published! working with the magazine has been such a tremendous blessing and something that i will forever be grateful for.  this reflection is important right now because i have been extremely busy the past three weeks, and i don't want my insane schedule to overshadow this exciting time.  i have been shooting lots of children, had my first "stranger" client, shot my first and second rehearsal dinner, shot my first wedding, and had one of my photos chosen for the cover of BuckHaven Lifestyle Magazine's cover! yes, the cover.  my photos were in the june, july, and september issue, but this cover is a first.  so yeah, i'm a little tired, i have forgotten how to cook, and my closet is a disaster, but who cares?!? i am living out my dream. right. now.